Hey, hey, hey, I know I've been away. Please do forgive me. These days my students come first( well after God of course) and then everybody else. If you're looking for "noticement" from me, well call me up and say that you're coming for classes. Ha ha ha. Okay, so the latest development with me has been my family reunion. It's a shame that it takes a family reuinion for me to remember my blog. Tsk, tsk. Anyway, I can honestly say that except for one, ONLY ONE, creepy woman, there are no freaky people in my fam. And might I add that it's pretty big. I've come to accept all Browne's, having been previously biased against the "e-less" ones. Overall it was a good week and to think I wasn't planning on participating. Thank God for persistent, persuasive uncles. The only sad note I have is that my camera, well my mother's camera dropped and died on the evening of the last event and as a result I didn't get all the photos and videos that I wanted. Bun fire pon Canon!( Wait, do people even say that anymore?)I think I have a new perspective on life and even though I have never met Charles Browne, Sarah Browne( Great- Grands), or my grandfather Enoch J Browne, an unusual sense of perseverance and pride has overtaken me. The stories I've heard seem to point to those two traits and though I may have casually accepted the Browne torch through no choice of mine, I now know that what I inherited goes much deeper than a name. Everything changes now and not because I feel emotional, but because the task is mine to make sure that torch burns brighter than before and will continue to burn through generations of Brownes that cannot be counted. Our catch phrase was," Browne's got talent" but just like the Ministry of Tourism, I say , "Talent is just the beginning....." Of course, I cannot end before saying that, just like my great grandparents, I pray that everyone in this family will not allow God just to be an ornament on an imaginary shelf that is dusted when the cupboards are empty or when we need to pass an exam  or when someone is terribly ill but that He will be our everything and that we will live to honour Him. Love Y'all! Muah!

So, I'm sitting here wondering why no one has commented on what I have to say. I believe it's just a situtation of people losing the little slip of paper with the address, forgetting completely and having no time whatsoever to come see. Anyway, I have about a month and a half more of tutoring which is actually bittersweet. I have made wonderful connections with some of my students which I'm sure will last a long time. There are times I do feel like staying home and doing nothing, but then I am not a supporter anymore of an unproductive day. It's crazy that every day I stroll to work I actually see the number of children that I know who can't read, spell or count. I wonder why their parents aren't concerned and I wonder what their future holds. It's not humanly possible for me to take them all on. I also wonder why so many people choose to be chasing after money they already don't need instead of investing in our children. I know they're not yours, but you will be paying when they're stuck in prison. Hello, taxpayers' money. I don't understand why people rather comment on how rude our children are becoming instead of correcting them. I don't understand why people buy a second tv when that money could have been given to a genuinely struggling person. Oh, people will say that I can't tell them how to spend their money and whatnot and so on. People wake up and stop being so ridiculous. I really can't stand how we live today as if we can put those things into our coffin. All ah dem ah tap right yah! You one ah go inna de coffin! Funny enough, when I decided that I was no longer in the mood to live a whatever life, and discovered that  I'm supposed to be a teacher I was very apprehensive about the situation. A teacher? My first response was,"God do you know what the salary of a teacher is like?" My second response was, "Lawd, dem children today go tek me soul." The other response were not improvements from those two. However, after I stopped protesting, I realized that my peace of mind and my happiness was worth more than a billion dollars. You can't buy that stuff people. You just can't buy peace and you can't buy fulfillment. Yes, I like to spend a little money here and there but it amazes me how many times I think I need something and then after much consideration I realize that I don't. There is a two week rule I stole from a show I can't remember. I f you go into a store and see something you really like, wait two weeks and then come back if you really want it. You'll be surprised how many things we buy just because the money is a click away.  Right now I just tell myself, if it has a spiritual reward I do it, if not, it was never important. I think sometimes we miss the mark. It makes my heart bleed to see uneducated children all over the place. Am I the only one with a bleeding heart? I see people who just need an encouraging word or someone to talk to. Why can't we do that instead of chatting people on the phone? Maybe take someone some groceries. A tin of beef and a bag of pasta never broke the bank. I know the Bible says in Matthew 24 that the love of many will wax cold but we don't have to be a part of the many. According to the rest of the world, what I make is like pocket change to some people but I know a little can go a long way.  I leave all these players to God. The players of the-great- big- game- of tag man where money is always "it."

 I was thinking about today's culture and the fact that the next generation will have a lesser quality of life than the previous one. You might ask how I came to that conclusion and the answer is- what we value. People of the future may have things running more efficiently and faster and "better", but who knows all the lessons we would be losing with our new world. The technological side of things seems to be improving but I think everything else is
deteriorating. Children constantly bug their parents for the next big thing. Some people say, "Oh, I did that when I was their age". That may be true however, when we were told no, it was no and if you dared ask why let's just say your answer would be a mound of dirt above your head, hmm, six feet high. If we couldn't get it we would
attempt at best to make one similar. It didn't even matter that your version looked like a piece of junk. You made it and it was the only way you knew how to fill your craving for that toy. Not like today where you just steal what you want, no questions asked by the parents. My days were days of inventions and a ton load of creativity. Bet anything if we had a showdown with the children of today, they would lose miserably. They don't even know the first thing to a juicebox car or paper boat. The parents should be blamed, we say. But I think it's not that they don't know that they're doing their children an injustice, I think they're guilty. Guilty of doing the same thing but only on a more mature scale. They run after the next big thing too. They compete with their co-workers and boast. They are doing the same thing so how can they tell their children no. It's like telling yourself no, and you can't do that or else you won't be able to impress john or mary anymore. My beef however is more than just with children and their parents. I have a problem with teenagers today. Bearing in mind that I was one not too long ago, I may take some pressure off and be nice. Wrong! That's what's wrong with the world, the pressure is off of them and that shouldn't be. Let me explain. Have you ever seen the settings on a computer where it says default mode? Well yeah,
that's the setting the computer uses when you haven't changed them for yourself. It means for a particular activity the computer uses whatever program it decides to use and that's the problem with teens. They're too lazy to make decisions( might I add life changing ones) so they leave their life on default mode. If it's not laziness, they may
plead that some decisions are not that important and they'll make them when they get there. My problem with that is, sometimes when you get there, you are not thinking straight and since you didn't PREpare, you have nothing to go on. Another thing about life changing decisions, is that teenagers think well I will have to think for myself when I'm an adult so let me go on a decision making vacation now, so I don't burnout when I'm an adult. Hello! The decision are life changing because they change your life. Ooooh, well isn't that deep. Yes, you have to make them when you're young, when you have your life ahead of you, not when you're already an ADULT. Now, by leaving life's tough decisions to its own whims and fancies, you have just relinquished all power and are
now powerless. Oh, you say, "She's going overboard" but am I? Think about it. If you're not calling the shots then who or what is? That's why we get caught up in this crazy counter -culture as I call it. The exception
has become the norm and so when your parents and loved ones tell you to avoid this and don't do that, we laugh and think that they're old-fashioned and out-of-date. We say these are new times, but do new times mean better?Some people say how can this be wrong when so many people are on the same page? It's practically the whole world versus your parents- the parents must be wrong. But maybe instead of thinking it's a vast majority against a minority, think that the majority is controlled by one- the devil. ha ha, got you there didn't I? He uses a crowd
to convince you that it must be good. However, what other people see is what's behind the crowd. You need substance. Every whim of the devil leaves you more empty than you were before. The precepts, judgments, commandments and whatever good word you can find of the Lord gives you a cup overflowing of whatever it is you need. You need to take time and figure out what settings you want to run your life on and get back in control because even though a real computer may not crash your life will. The phrase, I go with the flow is one to watch out for because on the surface it sounds as if it means I'm just a fun loving person who knows how to have a good time
but below it means I'm a mindless bobblehead who has no say over my own life. One thing I have a good knack for, is sensitive, selective screening. I listen very keenly to everything I hear even my gospel music. Hey, I can't take it
for granted we're on the same page. Listen for those subtle changes in the truth everywhere you go and from everyone you know. Study the Word well so you know the truth for yourself. Most importantly, listen to God's voice because He's the only one you can rely on in these troubled times.

Okay, for those of you who haven't heard, I have embarked on a scary mission. I decided that since I can't find a job and I need a job so I can finance my education, I will start one. Basically, I 've had some experience with teaching and it's not as bad as people think. I decided to set up my own tutoring service. The scary part is a phrase that I just used- "my own". I believe the spirit of entrepreneurship runs deep in all of us however as brightly as that spirit may glow, it can be easily dimmed by the fear of sinking. Self employment is a lot more complicated than what I perceived. The teaching aspect is so much fun but I can afford to say that because I average one student per class. LOL. Can someone say manageable? I will never seek to compare my class of one with thirty. I've been playing a cheapskate lately because I prefer to see my money going into the bank than being spent. However, my new found employment calls for an end of my parasitic behaviour involving money and my parents. In the past, where the money was not earned by me, it would somehow travel swiftly from my hands to another. But now, those careless and unnecessary sprees have become non-existent and have been replaced by an extreme case of "tightlyclosedfistritis". I now understand the "Mother Way". It is the only part of household accounting that has never seemed to make sense no matter how hard you try to explain it. I never understood how my mother could multiply money by dividing it. How could so many items come from a little bit of money? But I believe that mothers don't conduct careless purchases. Also, they get better at it as they get older. Just think, young people who work never have any money but retired old people always got a stash- that grows too! I don't want to be outsmarted by the elderly as they laugh at our bad habits. I want a stash too! When it's big enough, I'm going to blow it all! (in the year 2060)-well at least most of it. For now, I'm just trying to balance quality of service with financial obligations. I don't want to become a greedy pig and bring a box full of mediocrity to my own business but on the other hand I have a quota to reach each month and the more students I have, the more money I get. At the end of the day, even though I started this business for money, I get a better reward just knowing that through education and someone to care, our future is in better hands.

I'm not in the mood for pleasantries so let me get straight to the point. I've just been told for the millionth time that I'm sheltered. It's been a label that I apparently inherited for the past two years and seems to float over my head like a dark cloud. I don't know why I'm so upset but I've about had it with the whole "sheltered" thing. Okay, so my loving parents managed to send me to private school, be home when I was finished every day, helped me with my homework, always had a hot meal waiting for me in the evenings, easily bought every single tool I needed to use to succeed, gave me assistance in secondary school, once again paid for everything, made sure I had internet access, a computer and a printer at my disposal, sent me to college, paid for cape, paid for graduation and allowed me to stay in their house until now, never charged me anything, never demanded that I find a christmas or summer job and because of all of that,..... I'm sheltered? Well, I'm not here to argue. If people say that I'm sheltered because I never had to rough it out on my own, too bad. How can you just look at me and say that I have no survival skills. What do you know about me? I've been blessed with blessable blessings that I cannot count and I refuse to apologize for that. You know what I've observed? All the people that have been accusing me of being sheltered differ from me in things that I would never do. They all go clubbing or fetes or party or whatever bacchanal they can find or they surround themselves with questionable company or they only want God when He is convenient or they feel the need to impress people....and the list could go on. I want to know why none of my Christian friends have said I am sheltered, unless you are secretly thinking it. If so, please let me know to my face. I may be overreacting but I don't think this has to do with basic survival skills because in that case, who determines what is basic or not. What is the standard? I think life is to be lived. I live my life for Christ and I can't possibly see how I could be" fooly" with God on my side. Think about it, who knows everything? Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Who knows the exact time and place when things in our lives will occur? Who is the only person who gives us a sure-fire solution to all our problems? Anyway, my point is even if the reality IS that I'm sheltered, I'm glad that I am. I don't want to be caught up in any unnecessary troubles. All I see from the unsheltered half is strife and pain and misery and restlessness and depression. What would be the point if we all had life hard? How would anybody know that there is something better to strive for? Who would comfort these hurting and miserable people? Where would the balance in the world be? I have never looked for a life other than what I have and I don't want one. If the truth is that my parents have shielded me from the elements of life, well they must have done it for a jolly good reason. Once again, I will not apologize for the lack of knowledge or experience in what people deem to be survival skills because they have never, will never and can never walk in my shoes! I don't go and label them for not being able to do something so please don't label me. With that said, I think my chest is cleared! Ha ha, I can now laugh because I feel better. Feedback is demanded on this one- I still want a definition for sheltered because obviously I'm too "fooly" to know. Much luv.

I was in the process of job hunting when I bumped into the idea of starting my own website. At first, I thought it was simply a stroke of genius but then I had to reconsider. What would be the focus of this website? I had no amazing things that I had accomplished, no activities that would make my life seem in the least bit interesting. I wasn't a celebrity who had a league of adoring fans. Who would read my pages? I guess in some way we all think the same thing. We don't see our life as captivating and important unless we're in the public eye. Well I guess you know what the end of my mind boggling decision was because you are reading this page. I would like to think that I'm interesting- well at least that's what my friends say. Hmm..... I wonder if they'll check this site. I think it will be interesting to see what happens to my website for the upcoming year. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say.
Toodles,
ET