I really don't care to say much but this weekend has been such a blessing to me. I feel like we're(young people) finally stepping into what God has called us to. I was greatly encouraged by a performance today. God is truly awesome. Sometimes we hold back because of fear, but we should just step out. Peter walking on the sea kind of stuff. There are many persons who are living without Christ yet the churches seem to be multiplying. The time for talk is over. We all know what is required of us, yet we do nothing. I know that God is the Father of all which means that He is the Father of creativity. Even when I feel insecure in my abilities, I have to remind myself that I serve a mighty God. I have a lot of things brewing in my head but I always go with God's timing not mine. But everyday I witness a piece of the puzzle fitting in, creating a launching pad for greater things. I was a little depressed about one of my classes for a while but I don't feel that way anymore. I have eight more weeks in the semester and I will be taking it all very seriously. I'm sure that I've said this before, that as Christians we should be the best of the best. There are no excuses why we can't succeed. It feels so good to me that I can always bounce back from a slump because God is always there for me.
Blessings
Amanda

I watched a video last night from a friend and I must say that I was truly blown away. The video featured a young lady by the name of Genetics aka Janette ...IKZ from a Christian Spoken Word group known as the Passion 4 Christ Movement, P4CM. It is called," I will wait for you". Now, I had a pretty good idea what it was going to be about just from the title but whoa, I didn't expect her to be spitting that kind of soul searching poetry that's dripping with honesty. I had a hard time going to sleep after that and it wasn't so much about what she said, but rather how she said it. It made me wonder why we can't be honest with each other because chances are that a whole lot of people are going through the same thing. It also caused me to think that everyone may not be a poet but we all have something that God has blessed us with. If we all were serious about the talents He has given to us, the world would definitely be a better place. It really inspired me to be more and do more. Someone said, the mind changed by an idea, can never return to its previous state. It must be true because after that transforming word, my mind can never be the same. That's all for now. Peace Out!

If I told you that I don't know what to say right now, would you believe me? Of course not. Amanda having nothing to say is like snow falling in Antigua, which would not be a bad occurence, by the way. Well I'm not in a state of confusion as is the norm of the 20's. I recently read that your 20's are the most defining decade of a person's life. I just hate when people say things like that and pile on the pressure as if you didn't have enough already. It wouldn't make sense to argue that one because I know it's true. I'm a firm believer of this concept(more like death sentence for those who fail to capitalize on the decade). So many questions furnished by so little answers. I believe the solution to all the madness is for the "older" adults to mentor the younger people. Am I the only one to see this mentioned in the Bible? I 've been crucified once before of a statement where I expressed just that. We need mentors but then again I do admit that they're in short supply. And the question again is, why? Maybe they didn't have any so now that they're on the other side of the coin, they can't do that job. You can't give what you never had. But whose fault is it? Where did the disconnection start? While trying to discover the fault line, I have committed myself to follow Christ's example. That's always the best choice anyway, but it sure would be nice to have a human being to communicate with.
Anyway, I've really been upset lately. I've even told my father that I want to bite somebody. You know those moments where you say something but you know that you're not really going to do it? Ditto. I'm trying to comprehend where people, especially Caribbean people get this attitude of ALWAYS wanting to be in people's business. If I wanted you to know, I would tell you myself. Seems like everybody wants to have a say in my life, forgetting that the pronoun here is MY. I don't mind my parents having a say, after all they have invested time, energy and money into me. But the people who have never cared squat about me, you have no voting rights. People are just crazy. I observe that we're living in a dog-eat-dog world and everyone seems focused on me,me,me. There's no you or them or even we anymore. I don't have a problem with that. If you want to be running after stuff you can't take with you when you die, fine, that's your problem. But don't accuse me of being lazy and unreasonable and irrational just because I don't want to be in your money game. Everything is not and will never be money. I'm currently doing some research on a couple of things because people are complaining that wages are not increasing but expenses are. I figured if you can cut out/down the electricity and water bills, then you'll have more money in your pocket. Not to mention, the food bill. I'm trying to find a way to build a house that uses electricity sourced from solar panels and a recycled water system. Plus, there's also the idea of providing my own food both vegetables and livestock.Call me crazy but that's what's up my sleeve. True to what I said earlier, I don't think that I'm starting too soon to think about all of that. I have to set up my future well. I've got a couple other things up my sleeve as well but they are Classified at the moment. Hee Hee. Overall, my plan is not to be bothered with the things that are causing stress in our lives. Even if that means resorting to the bush. I have my eye on a lovely piece of land in the Body Ponds area. I don't want to be a squatter though because it is government land. I'll have to go see about that. I figured since everybody is crying poverty, I'll get a headstart on going "back to the olden days." I can picture it now, my coalpot, kerosene lamp(dangerous, might cause a widespread fire), my donkey or bicycle, my cot in my one room hut/shed. Perfect. If only there was a way to eradicate the Cuban frogs......I think people might think that I've finally gone off on the deep end. Well for whatever reason, I have developed a strong desire to live in the interior of the country. Maybe it was that hike from John Hughes to Bendals... I don't see the point in working just to pay bills and eat. With the anthem of survival ringing in our heads each morning, the days of enjoying life have gone. Have you seen people's faces lately? Horrible. I think those tribes in the jungles of Brazil and other countries are living wonderful lives. They don't have to check emails and walls. They don't have to complain that Lime or Digicel is cheating them out of their money. They don't have to wonder why there are so many channels and nothing good to watch while still paying for the service. I've been seriously considering closing this website and my email addresses and giving away my cell phones and to be drastic, selling this very computer. I'm tired of it all. I just want to have a simple roof over my head, clothes to wear and food to eat. According to many, we need love and I'm not going to tell you what dear old Maslow said we need as well. My point is that I'm fully aware that all the so called amenities of life do not profit me much and I will continue to live without them. So much for" I don't know what to say".
E.T.

It's been awhile, hasn't it? We're now in May and it's going to be June soon. Even though a lot of time has passed, I still feel like it's going too slow. This summer is going to be another uncomfortable one simply because I don't know if I'll be staying here or going to Barbados. It's all a wait- and- see. To make matters worst, I can't say that I have my heart dead set on leaving, but it's not dead set on staying either. I'm 50-50 on both ends. It doesn't matter to me. Maybe I'm trying to avoid disappointment by staying in support both ways. On other matters, I have more tutoring ahead of me now that my exams are over. Phew! What a relief! I hope I passed. I'm also trying to rock out my naturally curly hair but it needs a bit more definition in terms of the curls. One of my students laughed her heart out yesterday. I guess she's never seen that side of my hair. Big up to all the ladies rocking it natural. I think a revolution has begun and we need to continue to fire the flame. It's not about being a radical. It's about our identity as black people. I know a lot of people don't consider me to be black. When statements are made about me being white I just copy my brother and say "dunce elements". It seems like being a university student doesn't attest towards people's intelligence anymore. Besides rocking this 'fro, I'm also rocking to some pretty cool music. Gospel of course, that's a given. A friend of mine hooked me up so now I have combined some of my old stuff with new stuff. The mix is quite intriguing. I'm actually amazed at how much music I have, considering all the stuff I don't have yet. I don't know why young people who profess to be Christians have junk on their phones, ipods and laptops when there is an endless supply of positive music and very diverse might I add. I know everyone might not favour everything. I 've heard the arguments over Christian Dancehall/Reggae and Christian Hip-Hop. That's your personal conviction that I can't do anything about. But beside those, my word, the supply is endless. I love all Christian/Gospel music with the huge exception of that Gaither type music, whatever the bluegrass, country, something is.  One important lesson I have learnt though, is that you can't replace reading your Bible with listening to Gospel all day. I know I get that feeling sometimes but as much as I would jam and dance, I would still feel empty. The times I feel really inspired are when I actually read a passage and really soak it in. Yesterday morning for instance, I read the temptation of Jesus in Matthew and all these points jumped out at me that I didn't see before. I 'll share that sometime. I wrote them out. It's a bit lengthy. I love when that happens, you know when you read something before or heard it millions of times at church, and then sometime you read it again and something you didn't realize before, is staring right at you and all you can do is say, "wow". Yup, that's why even if you read the  Bible cover to cover, you would never exhaust all the teaching in it. And don't talk about the drama. The Bible really does cover everything and truly, "there is nothing new under the sun". So why do we have force ourselves sometimes to read it? I hear someone saying speak for yourself. Okay, fine then. It's just me. Well, I haven't done so for the day so I'm leaving. If you're reading this, go find ya Bible too and read it!
Peace!